


BvS Filmmakers Sued By ‘Real’ Batman & Superman

by ErnieThePyle



Category: Batman - All Media Types, Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice, Superman - All Media Types
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-10
Updated: 2016-04-10
Packaged: 2018-06-01 10:52:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,094
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6515272
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ErnieThePyle/pseuds/ErnieThePyle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Superheroes accuse “exploitative film” of libel, trademark infringement</p>
            </blockquote>





	BvS Filmmakers Sued By ‘Real’ Batman & Superman

The real Batman and Superman, not to be confused with the angsty, angry, “moronic and murderous cretins” of the recently-released critical flop _Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice_ , have filed a lawsuit in Metropolis federal court accusing the film’s creators of impugning their good crime-fighting names.

Filed Friday, the lawsuit accuses director Zack Snyder and others of deliberately maligning Batman and Superman with a depiction that betrays the soul and spirit of what the heroes represent. 

“Just watching some Batfleck version of himself caused Mr. Batman severe emotional distress,” the complaint reads. “The real person has a lifelong aversion to firearms and observing a gun-toting doppelganger mow down people with no regard for human life has brought up decades-old traumas.” 

Noble butler Alfred is also mentioned in the suit as a father figure portrayed with no fatherly qualities, a head of security who failed in every possible regard and who, along with a billionaire, allowed the truest symbol of the Wayne legacy, stately Wayne Manor, to fall into disrepair and ruin. 

The complaint alleges Snyder had every opportunity to actually read the source material and see what the characters stood for, to appreciate the fact that crucifying a man’s truck, and almost certainly his livelihood, in the “poorly named” _Man of Steel_ is neither heroic nor acceptable Superman behavior. 

Other purported instances of infringing on the iconic _S_ and painting Superman as something he is not, according to the lawsuit, include allowing someone to die — his father — purely to protect his secret, despite a dozen different ways Pa Kent could have been saved. Nor is Superman stupid enough to carry kryptonite when others are around who can do so just as well, as portrayed in _BvS_ , according to the complaint. 

“At minimum Snyder is guilty of hopelessly lazy storytelling,” the complaint says. 

In addition to infringing on Superman’s heroic symbolism and good name, the Man of Tomorrow is also seeking to represent the estate of his biological father Jor-El. While libel suits typically cannot be brought after a person’s death and jurisdiction is questionable for a man who never even set foot on planet Earth, Superman contends his father deserves better than to be seen as a jerk of an action-hero in _Man of Steel_ who leaves his wife to die alone as Krypton falls around her. 

“Jor-El’s name has value,” the complaint reads, “and that value is grossly diminished portraying an accomplished scientist banging around a million year-old skull like a beach shell.” 

Adoption groups have themselves made considerable waves regarding _Man of Steel_ in particular — although their ability to sue is minimal — over the film’s treatment of adoptive parents as an afterthought not deserving of the “real parents” label. 

“One is hard-pressed to consider how telling the woman who raised you from infancy about finding your ‘real parents,’ rather than your biological ones, isn’t phenomenally offensive to the millions of American children raised in adoptive homes,” the complaint says. 

The exhaustive 70-page complaint filed Friday raises a litany of allegations against Snyder and company from both Batman and Superman, and promises more as fans truly discover the horrors their beloved heroes have been subjected to. 

Snyder should have known better, the complaint contends, from criminally underutilizing the only actually interesting character— Wonder Woman, who’s threatened a lawsuit of her own but has not yet joined this suit — to turning one of the great comic book villains into an annoying juvenile who just discovered Nietzsche and is vastly smarter and more interesting than the boy-wannabe-genius portrayed in _BvS_. 

It’s worth noting that Lex Luthor has already filed his own lawsuit alleging “impugned evil genius” as well as the more cogent contention that his business prospects have been harmed by a film that portrays him as a mad idiot rather than a genius megalomaniac, one not worthy of arch-villainy or the lucrative bad guy team-up deals that have become so popular in meta circles. 

“I’ve worn bad purple getups that had more life and color than that pretending twerp,” Luthor himself said at a press conference last week. “Stuffing candy in a senator’s mouth? It’s too beneath my vast intellect to even comment on.” 

Even Batman and Superman expressed some sympathy for Luthor in their complaint, contending that good heroes need good villains. This film had neither, they said. 

In an interview, Batman and Superman attorney Harvey Dent said the financial payout in a successful suit could run into the billions of dollars, if the heroes can put a dollar value on how far back _BvS_ has set their relations with the nerd world. 

“Can you imagine a harder slough than overcoming an image of one hero incapable of articulating ‘I’m being blackmailed’ and another that starts branding bad guys so they get murdered in prison?” Dent asked. 

Dent said that he’s received interest from other maligned characters who might want to jump in on the suit, including his alter-ego, the vigilante crime lord known as Two-Face. 

“The coin hasn’t given me a good answer on joinin’,” Two-Face himself said separately as he briefly swapped control with Dent. Two-Face nevertheless expressed interest in at least filing an amicus or friend of the court brief, although at the district level, amicus filers need special permission. That brief, he said, would likely argue that this version of Batman has made the character far too villainous in his own right and too much like The Punisher or some other murderous thug for most of his foes to even be worth fighting. 

“Batman is a symbol,” Dent said. Two-Face added: “I’m the one who brands people and takes a machine gun to ‘em. Not much of a noble and pure hero, however complex, who just shoots ‘em up without at least admitting he’s just an uninteresting antihero.” 

The complaint further alludes to others who Snyder has allegedly betrayed and Two-Face and Dent both pointed to one in particular who might want to jump in on the suit. 

“Jimmy Olsen deserved better,” Dent said, referring to the enterprising young journalist murdered on screen because Zack Snyder confused wanton brutality in a superhero movie for something that would be “fun” to do with the character. 

Reached for comment, Snyder released a statement promising to vigorously defend against the lawsuit and calling the accusations unfounded. 

“We all know Batman and Superman are just looking to ride the publicity train,” Snyder said. “They talk a good game but there’s nothing inherently lazy about a nonsensical plot that portrays Batman as a hallucinating fortune-teller. What’s wrong with milking a dead cash cow anyways?”

**Author's Note:**

> If you can tell me the exact publication whose style this is written in I will be deeply impressed.


End file.
